Jim Collins wrote a New York Times best-selling book in recent years titled From Good to Great. When it comes to parenting issues, we think in similar terms: between good, better, and best, we will aim for best every time.
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There are countless books written on the parenting topic, coming from every possible direction imaginable. We do our best to offer parenting advice based upon biblical principles, however. After all, God invented the family a long time ago.
The corner-stone elements of successful parenting are best divided into two categories. The first category contains elements that are the responsibility of the parents:
The second category of elements pertain to both the children as well as the parents:
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A brief description of each key ingredient follows below.
Provision
Parents must obviously provide food, clothing, and shelter for their children in order for them to survive and thrive. The Bible offers a stern word to adults in this regard in 1 Timothy 5:8 which says, “But if any one does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” As parents, we have a divine obligation to provide for our children.
Fathers can often focus too much upon the material aspects of provisioning, leaving off the equally important things that money cannot buy. You can read more about this aspect here.
Protection
Our children must be protected from many different elements that can either cause them harm or prevent them from growing into healthy adult individuals. Protection is usually thought about in the defensive sense, but protecting our kids from becoming less than they are able to become and proactively encouraging lofty goals and ideals is equally important.
Preparation
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Preparing our kids for a successful launch into young adulthood involves head-knowledge for sure, but these days heart-knowledge is probably even more important. Knowing what things to love and embrace in life versus the things that should be scorned and avoided is vital.Young people in particular often have the attitude that nothing can harm them. The wise old adage, “Play too close to the fire and you will get burned,” can unfortunately be dismissed as advice better suited for someone else. |
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Preparation must include attaining wisdom. It must walk the careful balance between being aware of life’s ups and downs versus being a childish over-the-top optimist. No parent wants a 40 year-old son or daughter who still behaves like a teenager, and yet as a recent author has penned, “Where have all of the grownups gone?” |
Discipline
In the context of parenting, most parents probably think of discipline as something to be imposed on their children. On the contrary, parents as well as children are called to live a disciplined life! You cannot expect or insist self-discipline on the part of your children if sound evidence of self-discipline in your own life is in short supply. If we parents never tell ourselves No and we never deny ourselves the “things” in life that we want, our children will almost certainly turn out to be an amplified version of ourselves; entitled, expecting, impatient, demanding, ungrateful.
The Bible speaks of self-discipline as valuable for this life as well as the (eternal) life to come:
1 Timothy 4:8 Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness. For bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also the life to come.
Standard for Conduct
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It is imperative that all family members, parents and children alike, live their lives attentive to the same code of conduct; the same measuring rod. The parents cannot live their life one way and expect their children to be held to a different standard as this is simple hypocrisy- the number one issue behind teenage rebellion. If you do not want your teenagers to drink alcohol, its best that Mom and Dad refrain from drinking too. If you want your children to be truthful, you cannot engage in “white lies” or shading the truth yourself. We whole-heartedly maintain that the Bible is the best standard for human conduct regardless of one’s age. Read more here. |
Commitment, Loyalty, & Love
These attributes are at the center of the hub and for good reason. If they are absent from the center of your family, the wheel ceases to be a wheel. Paul rightly puts it in 1 Corinthians 13 when he remarks, “faith, hope, love, but the greatest of these is love.” Love cannot be merely spoken about in your home- it must be felt, it must be demonstrated, and it must be free.
These attributes must begin with Mom and Dad, and they must be visible and self-apparent to all of your children.
The United States Navy core values are stated simply as Courage, Honor, and Commitment, and they bear marked similarity with the family attributes just given.
